Personal Essays on OpenLove101

Read personal stories from my love life as well as my advice and insights on how to navigate consensual nonmonogamy and open relationships at

July 01, 2008



Upon hearing this played-out chant, eleven-year-old Tarryn Frunk does not expect the eighth grade to be different from any other school year, unlike two years ago when she and her family first moved to Seoul, South Korea. It turns out that even an American army base halfway around the world is just an extension of American suburbia, and the kids there are just as mean, especially when you are two grades ahead in school, make sculptures out of found objects (a.k.a. junk), and have a white streak in your incredibly frizzy hair.

But two significant events—one humiliating, the other flattering—happen to Tarryn on the first day of eighth grade, changing the course of the school year and upsetting the dynamics of what were once believed to be steadfast friendships.

In her debut novel, Samia Mounts perfectly captures the vulnerability of adolescents—both the outsiders and the in-crowd—and also conveys the nuances of everyday life on an American army base.

The unique illustrations of Luca Matricardi—found in every chapter—bring the world of Tarryn Frunk to life.

Click title to purchase on Amazon.

February 26, 2016

Here’s how it normally goes down. I meet a guy who has something special in his face, a soulfulness that resonates with me. There’s this firecracker moment when our eyes connect for the first time and bing — we want each other. It’s more than physical attraction; it’s spiritual, it’s deep, it’s something really real. We go out a few times, we have intense, intimate conversations into the wee hours of the night, and the kind of sex where you start seeing God. Everything’s going swimmingly for a few weeks or months, and then suddenly, he’s gone. 

Click headline to read full article on Refinery29.

February 03, 2016

When I started sleeping with Dylan, a gorgeous 24-year-old artist who worked at the local café, I thought it would be a fun, casual rebound fling. I’d just gotten out of a tumultuous, jealousy-ridden relationship with a guy who believed monogamy meant never speaking to anyone I had ever kissed. I was pretty down on the whole idea of monogamy, and being the fiery risk-taker that I am, my reaction was to go as far in the opposite direction as possible. I told Dylan I wanted to continue dating other people, and he was welcome to do the same. Even though he was hesitant, we gave it a try.

Click headline to read full article on Refinery29.

May 18, 2016

When I met James, I thought he was a total catch. He was smart, educated, he owned his apartment (not an easy feat on the Lower East Side of Manhattan), and he was a talented musician who fronted a raucous 10-piece gospel/soul band. The first time I ever saw him was as an audience member, and his onstage persona hypnotized me. He had a flamboyance that reminded me of rock stars. It was an instant crush.

Click headline to read full article on Refinery29.

July 05, 2016

It's a moment so many women who date men have experienced: I'm at the end of a first date, the bill comes, and I'm sitting there, eyeing the guy for signs of his next move. Will he pull the chivalry card, covering the numbers with one hand while deftly putting down his credit card with the other? Will he act as if nothing happened and let the bill sit between us until the very last moment, waiting to see what I might do? Will he look at me point-blank and say, “Wanna split it?”

Click headline to read full article on Refinery29.

June 20, 2013

Things are looking up for gay Americans lately. In spite of lingering homophobia and a few very loud bigots, our country is moving toward a future in which gays and lesbians will have all the rights granted to straight Americans under the Constitution. To many, it seems that it’s only a matter of time before the war for legalized gay marriage and equal rights is won.

Click headline to read full article on HuffPost.

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actor // singer // writer // podcast creator

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